John W. Carlin and Civic Leadership
Join the Conversation:
  • Home
  • About John
  • Blog
  • Leading and Learning Moments
  • Leader Corner
  • Resources
    • Feedback

The Value of Listening

2/9/2015

1 Comment

 
One of the books I use in my teaching on leadership is Steven B. Sample’s book the Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership. In chapter two on Artful Listening, he starts with this statement: “The average person suffers from three delusions: (1) that he is a good driver, (2) that he has a good sense of humor, and (3) that he is a good listener. Most people, however, including many leaders, are terrible listeners; they actually think talking is more important than listening.”

To be honest, I think until recent years and becoming a teacher, I fit right in that category. I really didn’t give the art of listening enough attention. I took for granted that of course I listened, but on reflection, what I was really doing all too often was pondering what I would say next. But Sample got me thinking. Now, I not only communicate the importance of quality listening but work hard to practice it as well.

In reflecting on why this problem so frequently exists, I got to thinking about how, as a culture, we often are not comfortable with silence. We tend to immediately respond, driven by a pause that might communicate we don’t understand or don’t care. When this happens, the quality communication that is so key to productive collaboration does not happen and potential positive results are not reached.

I remember traveling internationally on behalf of the state, and then later on behalf of private sector clients, and being so frustrated when speaking, for instance, to the Japanese and getting almost always the silent treatment. Now I suspect that culturally they felt no pressure to respond before thinking. What I found awkward, they felt only made common sense.


Bottom line is, it is clear being a good listener has huge value and is absolutely essential to productive dialogue and collaboration. With the real world operating much of the time in teams, this capacity to be a good listener becomes all the more important.
1 Comment
Norma Oborg
2/9/2015 05:00:49 am

QUILTY!!! Thanks for the good advice.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    John W. Carlin​—​61st Speaker of the Kansas House, 40th Governor of Kansas, 8th Archivist of the United States, and student of leadership

    Categories

    All
    Agriculture
    Budgets And Taxation
    Capital Punishment
    China
    Civic Engagement
    Drinking Age
    Education
    Election 2016
    Election 2018
    Election 2020
    Election 2022
    Election 2024
    Environment
    Health Care
    Higher Education
    Historical Perspective
    Infrastructure
    Judicial System
    Leadership
    LGBTQ Rights
    National Archives
    Research
    Teaching

    Facebook

    John W. Carlin

    Twitter

    Tweets by @johnwcarlin

    Subscribe

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed